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The Seaforth Inn


An old fishermans pub which looks over the local harbour. Good music and late drinking.
Many visitors and locals alike, but more men than women overall and some class sleazy lines to be heard. Good laugh.

The Gold Nugget

The Gold Nugget Bar

Your chances of getting your ass kicked here is pretty good. Opens early and closes late. Sign on the door says to leave your guns in your truck, though the rule isn't really enforced.

Bands on Friday and Saturday night. Rare to find a chick over a "5" here. This is a small town without a police department. The state police take anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes to show up for the weekend fights that happen EVERY Friday and Saturday night.

Probably one of the last bars in the entire US where you can still get a 25 cent beer. Lots of dead animals stuffed on the walls. Lots of wild clientle. You are guaranteed to leave this bar with a good story to tell your buddies - no question about it.

Underground garage

Underground Garage

Like partying in your best friend's basement circa. 1979- probably hasen't been cleaned since then either. Come to think of it, same applies to most of the regulars.

Craby Joe's

This bar is near the corner of Main Street and 7th Street. Its in Skid Row. Its point of interest is that it is in the title montage of the film written by Charles Bukowski, "Barfly". At that time, the neon sign was still working. I'm interested in restoring the sign. There is no "bartime" at this bar. The stay open right up to 2:00 AM, at which time everyone is pushed out the door.

The Windsor

Hotel Windsor

If your scared of entering a dark dingy place that may or may not have undesirables loitering around the front, no problem. Once your in the front doors keep your back to the wall. I've never seen anything go down, but you may feel safe for your first few visits.
Cheap beer and great jazz...nice sacrafice. Impress your new girlfriend and show her how brave you are!
Come on down. Land of the free and home of the drunk.
PS-must get along well with Natives.

Grand Union

Grand Union

drunken bums, street folk trying to sell you things (from sunglasses to electric beard trimmers), rowdy natives, $1.50 draft, live country bands every night, ladies and theyre johns...on hastings.
in fact, there is nothing classy about this place.

to quote the vancouver courier:
"It's 3 o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon and tables at the Grand Union Hotel on Hastings Street, three blocks west of Main, are almost full."



Deep under the surface of Portland lies the famous Geno's. The only way in is through a black door and down a narrow flight of stairs. Once down there, there is no escape, no help, as your cell phone has no service. A band will be playing loud punk music, ideally. The beer is no frills. The mixed drinks are strong. The bartender is trashed.
The lady's room has seen some action. The green room has seen more.
The most famous true tale of Geno's is GG Allen took a shit on the stage, and Geno himself kicked him out.

Random bars

El Zorro Bar

El Zorro

In the city known for sleasy bars, El Zorro is famous for the ambiance, a pair of fairly burly gentlemen will greet you and poin the way to your table, the place is almost completely dark, after a second a girl will sit next to you and ask you to buy her a drink, if you do so, she will remover her top and let you fondle her,
Here you can get lucky for a few pesos.



WOW, i can't belive this isn't on here. i swear that all this is true. the bar is a one story building/ shack that is slightly leaning foward, from what i have been told that it has been this way since the 70's and hasnt fallen yet. the inside is a half concert floor and half dirt. the barmaids are some towny sluts that have more tattoos than the average biker. The mens room has a hole in the ground to piss in. I hear that the womens room has a toliet, but nobody would even go in and check it. bikers and good old country boys only come to this bar. i know of one stabbing there and have heard of some other shaddy things going on, but i cant be sure. this place is not somewhere you go to meet a chick, unless you want to date your own sister.

Becket's pub

This has got to be one of the most sleaziest bars I have ever been in.

Of course its so nasty they dont card people because if they did, they would lose half the customers!

In the bathroom u can run your finger across the table and have enough cocaine on it to get a horse high.
Sex, drugs, drinking, the usual expected scene in a sleazy bar.

Jimmy Mak's


Jimmy Mak's, truly a ghetto-fabulous place, especially the downstairs pool room which has a crazy ass side door entrance and bartenders on their last legs serving up basic mixers with a stiffness only a corpse could appreciate.
I love this place. The crowd is mixed and may be not as neighborhood territorial as some of the other local pubs in Portland, but makes up for it with the characters drinking their. Last trip in we saw a pregnant woman sharing a beer and smoking a cig. Did I say pregnant woman, I'm sorry I mean girl - someone barely old enough to be inside.
Pool tables are awesome and unlike most other joints, well lit and not as smoky. Oh you'll smell like a fucking ashtray but won't be blind from the smoke.
Best sleazy bar in town without naked chicks. Read more »

Kings Bar and Grill

Kings is the home of the pickled brainered!
people fuck in the bathrooms, condoms on the floor put out cigarette's on the floor and maybe a on a mild nite you might get the chance to pick glass outta your head or ass! and a free titty dance from the barmaid who is drunk and missing a few teeth. check it out!

Paule's Metal Eck

Paule's Metal Eck

From the outside this heavy metal bar kind of looks intimidating. I opened the door ready to meet some real hard rockers, and some loud music. Little of that really. This crowd is mixed, consisting of a lot of foreignors. In between, I encountered some local rockers and some alternative punkers. The interior is dark, some weird sculptures on the walls, a pool table, and a table for the regulars. Read more »

Otra Cosa

great place about 6 blocks from the back of the cathedral on the "zocalo"
if is still open because i would guess that the owner drunk himself to death, crazy frenchman who has a great punk/rock collection
every beer you buy, you trough a 1 peso piece in the tip bucket in the corner of the bar- hard to miss its pretty big- and you get a free mezcal if the coin hits the metal. don't use your last 10 peso piece because needless to say you WILL need a taxi to get back to your hotel!!!