Underground Garage
Latest entries
The Windsor
If your scared of entering a dark dingy place that may or may not have undesirables loitering around the front, no problem. Once your in the front doors keep your back to the wall. I've never seen anything go down, but you may feel safe for your first few visits.
Cheap beer and great jazz...nice sacrafice. Impress your new girlfriend and show her how brave you are!
Come on down. Land of the free and home of the drunk.
PS-must get along well with Natives.
Geno's
Deep under the surface of Portland lies the famous Geno's. The only way in is through a black door and down a narrow flight of stairs. Once down there, there is no escape, no help, as your cell phone has no service. A band will be playing loud punk music, ideally. The beer is no frills. The mixed drinks are strong. The bartender is trashed.
The lady's room has seen some action. The green room has seen more.
The most famous true tale of Geno's is GG Allen took a shit on the stage, and Geno himself kicked him out.
U Otter Stop Inn
No windows, the same toothless drunks in there at noon as at midnight, gross mural on the exterior depicting creepy-faced buxom she-otters and sleazy he-otters merrily socializing with a pint or two, and to top it off, it's supremely dank and non-descriptly awful inside the bar.
Cheap liquor and beer are the specialties of the house.
Grand Union
drunken bums, street folk trying to sell you things (from sunglasses to electric beard trimmers), rowdy natives, $1.50 draft, live country bands every night, ladies and theyre johns...on hastings.
in fact, there is nothing classy about this place.
to quote the vancouver courier:
"It's 3 o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon and tables at the Grand Union Hotel on Hastings Street, three blocks west of Main, are almost full."
Kings Bar and Grill
Kings is the home of the pickled brainered!
people fuck in the bathrooms, condoms on the floor put out cigarette's on the floor and maybe a on a mild nite you might get the chance to pick glass outta your head or ass! and a free titty dance from the barmaid who is drunk and missing a few teeth. check it out!
De Ster
Be prepared for some loud music before entering this place as it's official subtitle is 'Home Of Metal History'. You can hear anything from Manowar to Mayhem and from Rammstein to Morbid Angel. Run by Johnny and his wife Mieke this place is one of the best hangouts in Holland. It opens between 22:00 and 23:00 at night and it closes at about 04:00 am on regular days but on friday and especially saturday it doesn't close until Johnny's bored. And he doesn't get bored quick when there's drunk people to talk to!
The beer is fairly cheap compared to the surrounding bars in the centre of Groningen. Order bottles though! Read more »
Cal's
This is a true sleazy bar in the heart of the Loop. The paint is peeling off of the walls, the mirror behind the bar (where it isn't busted out) hasn't been cleaned since before the war, their "patio furniture" is tables from the bar moved to the sidewalk, the bathroom is cleaned by a homeless man who is paid in wine (so you can imagine the quality job there), the glassware is murky and the food gives you indigestion right away.
On the upside, if you want to become a regular somewhere, it is easy here. Show up, drink, shut up and then leave. Low-key is hardly the word. The staff is no-nonsense, but friendly. And where else in the Loop can you get a beer for under $2.00.
Cal's...an experience for all who have the guts to do it.
Random bars
Sammy's
Now I know Barberton, Ohio is not exactly Big Town USA but I don't think any bar in this little town famous for it's fried chicken can be called high class. If you ever need that sleazy bar crowd just head this way we have at least a dozen, but Sammy's takes the prize.
Located on the corner of Norton Avenue and Fifth St NW It is the heart of Night Life. This is one of those bars where the old, young, ugly, depraved, well to do, good looking, hell just about anybody hangs out any night of the week. Read more »
Oriental Bar
Somewhat curiously given it's name, the Oriental Bar has a Christmas feel with the year round kitsch colored lights strung above the many mirrors.
The bar ladies are hardly in a festive mood though, and will soon get down to business demanding drinks and then some. The toilet might have never been cleaned but let's face it, you shouldn't be going here for that.
Despite overdosing on sleaze you are likely to meet some genuinely friendly Ethiopian men. They will buy you drinks and get sloshed with you, a great time. When things do get slow head down the same road to John Bar or any of the other 50 bars in this capital of hospitable sleaze.
Uncle Marty's Pub
Only beers on tap are Bud and Bud Lite. Actually only Bud since the Bud Lite tap handle is just to fool the "ladies". Food is served only on St. Patrick's day and then only corned beef.
Largest purveyor of Jagermeister in the Rockland county. Only one of the bartenders drank it all and there were no receipts for it.
Patrons include old men and a group of people known as the Jackson Whites (a group of hillbillies of dubious racial origins in-bred since the American Revolution).
Village of Suffern mentioned on "Sex in the City", when the proprietor was interviewed about the episode for a newspaper article he stated that the girls from SITC would not like his place since a "Cosmopolitan" has never been served there. Read more »
Rocky's Downtown
Your quintessential hole-in-the-wall. Billed as the 'oldest bar in Granite City that hasn't burned down yet'. Located in the maw of a steel city, this bar has the unique distinction of having scum-of-the-earth clientele coupled with the presence of the usually yuppie-associated NTN Trivia. High scores rarely top 10,000 points.
Homeless fun-seekers and talking-to-themselves winos provide endless free entertainment, therefore no bands blemish the weekends. The owners of this establishment apparently came to the conclusion that having dollar longneck specials three weekdays in a row would boost attendance. And boy howdy it did. Read more »
Iffy's Place
Upon passing through both doors you find yourself among the dregs of society.
Grizzled men and beat looking women line the bar and pool table.
The bathroom has the customary graffiti. Drinks are cheap and the music is a mix of rock, pop and country all somewhat dated.
You could get laid here if you dare as it is frequented by both a gay and straight crowd. I have actually witnessed a stabbing out front between two patrons one New Years Day.
Another night the bar had just closed when the barkeep stuck his head out the door and called over a hooker and banged her in a chair with the lights off.
Pipa Club
To enter, one has to ring the doorbell and walk up to the first floor. It's not very sleazy, but it's open till late. Of course, the later you'll arrive, the more you feel at home. The clientele is a mixture of tourists and catalans, the drinks are relatively expensive, and there used to be a waitress with long legs, leather boots, a short skirt and a skimpy shirt, but I haven't seen her the last few times I was there.
But it's open untill quite late, or did I mention that already?
1881 Club
This place is right near my house, and in two and half years I've never had the balls to walk in there. Well I dragged some reinforcements with me and took the plunge today. All I can say is, I'm glad I did. Although there are NO SMOKING signs all over the place, everybody is smoking. There's a back room with a pool table, there's those "pay per game" electronic dartboards that are almost certainly busted, and the old style 12 foot wide satellite dish was pulling in some classic NASCAR action on TNT or TNN or something on a projection tv. Read more »